"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
        -- Dan Quayle

"What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expected generally happens."
-- Benjamin Disraeli

"We never stop investigating. We are never satisfied that we know enough to get by. Every question we answer leads on to another question. This has become the greatest survival trick of our species."
-- Desmond Morris

"Adventure is just bad planning."
-- Roald Amundsen

"Everything is vague to a degree you do not realize till you have tried to make it precise."
-- Bertrand Russell

"The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"A coupla months in the laboratory can save a coupla hours in the library."
-- Westheimer's Discovery

"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."
-- Terry Pratchett

"Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops."
-- Kurt Vonnegut

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak."
-- Jay Leno

"No opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible."
-- W. H. Auden

"When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers."
-- Oscar Wilde

"I think that one possible definition of our modern culture is that it is one in which nine-tenths of our intellectuals can't read any poetry."
-- Randall Jarrell

"The entire economy of the Western world is built on things that cause cancer."
-- From the 1985 movie "Bliss"

"Ever heard Victoria's REAL secret? Too much support hurts."
-- R. Stevens"

Try to learn something about everything and everything about something."
-- Thomas H. Huxley"

Furious activity is no substitute for understanding."
-- H. H. Williams

"Every crowd has a silver lining."
-- Phineas Taylor Barnum

"No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why."
-- Mignon McLaughlin

"For every action there is an equal and opposite government program."
-- Bob Wells

"Half of the modern drugs could well be thrown out of the window, except that the birds might eat them."
-- Dr. Martin Henry Fischer

"When it is not necessary to make a decision, it is necessary not to make a decision."
-- Lord Falkland

"Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty."
-- Leo Rosten

"Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment."
-- Barry LePatner

"You've got to take the bitter with the sour."
-- Samuel Goldwyn

"Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right."
-- Isaac Asimov

"Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair."
-- George Burns

"Rogues are preferable to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest."
-- Alexandre Dumas

"If you haven't found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day."
-- John A. Wheeler

"The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone."
-- Woody Allen

"It is said that power corrupts, but actually it's more true that power attracts the corruptible. The sane are usually attracted by other things than power."
-- David Brin

"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today."
-- Herman Wouk

"One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say."
-- Will Durant

"The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time."
-- Willem de Kooning

"It is the wretchedness of being rich that you have to live with rich people."
-- Logan Pearsall Smith

"The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn."
-- David Russell

"Rowe's Rule: the odds are five to six that the light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an oncoming train." - Paul Dickson

"There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters."
-- Alice Thomas Ellis

"A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation."
-- Saki

"The important work of moving the world forward does not wait to be done by perfect men."
-- George Eliot

"Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment."
-- Rita Mae Brown

"There is nothing more demoralizing than a small but adequate income."
-- Edmund Wilson

"The problem with political jokes is they get elected."
-- Henry Cate VII

"I take the view, and always have, that if you cannot say what you are going to say in twenty minutes you ought to go away and write a book about it."
-- Lord Brabazon

"Strange as it seems, no amount of learning can cure stupidity, and higher education positively fortifies it."
-- Stephen Vizinczey

"The point of living and of being an optimist, is to be foolish enough to believe the best is yet to come."
-- Peter Ustinov

"The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them."
-- Mark Twain

"No sports"

-- Winston Churchill

"What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living."
-- Doug Larson

"Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought."
-- Albert Szent-Gyorgyi

"One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man."
        -- Elbert Hubbard

"You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club."
-- Jack London

"Time is that quality of nature which keeps events from happening all at once. Lately it doesn't seem to be working."
-- Anonymous

"It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument."
-- William G. McAdoo

"Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter."
-- William Ralph Inge

"Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river."
-- Nikita Khrushchev

"The trouble with normal is it always gets worse."
-- Bruce Cockburn

"He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it."
-- Douglas Adams

"The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any."
-- Katharine Whitehorn

"Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There's a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning."
-- Bill Gates

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. Isaac Asimov

"If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough"
-- Mario Andretti

"The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget."
-- Thomas Szasz

"I am certain there is too much certainty in the world."
-- Michael Crichton

"It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'"
-- Sam Levenson

"Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd."
-- Voltaire

"It is a paradoxical but profoundly true and important principle of life that the most likely way to reach a goal is to be aiming not at that goal itself but at some more ambitious goal beyond it."
-- Arnold Toynbee

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."
-- Philip K. Dick

"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."
-- Jerry Seinfeld

"The follies which a man regrets most, in his life, are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity."
-- Helen Rowland

"Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else."
-- James M. Barrie

"Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence."
-- Henrik Tikkanen

"A happy childhood is poor preparation for human contacts."
-- Colette

"The big thieves hang the little ones."
-- Czech Proverb

"Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless."
-- Thomas A. Edison

"Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric."
-- Bertrand Russell

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.

Albert Einstein

"You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do."
-- Olin Miller

"The whole secret of life is to be interested in one thing profoundly and in a thousand things well."
-- Horace Walpole

"He may be mad, but there's method in his madness. There nearly always is method in madness. It's what drives men mad, being methodical."
-- G. K. Chesterton

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."
-- Thomas A. Edison

"If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?"
-- Laurence J. Peter